"But baby, you too fat to fly."

Margaret Cho's parents left Korea in 1964 to live in America. They had a hard time adjusting. Margaret's Korean name is Moran and she was born on December 5, 1968 in San Francisco, California. Margaret grew up in a Christian environment and even taught Sunday school for two years. She was fired for abusing her power, in other words, sending bad children to hell. When Margaret was little she wanted to be Jewish and named herself Naomi. As far as genetics are concerned, she inherited her father's eyes and her mother's eating disorder. Her phobia is flying--she tends to panic in advance.

Margaret and her brother grew up in the Polk-Haight area, where her parents owned a bookstore. Some people are raised by wolves, she was raised by drag queens. (Yes, she's a faghag from way back.) The smell that takes Margaret back to childhood is balls in pantyhose. Margaret used to dream of being constantly surrounded by gorgeous men, and she is, only she should've been more specific. Due to these factors, Margaret is the biggest faghag ever. Not that there's anything with with that, afterall faghags are the backbone of the gay community.

In case you were wondering, Margaret is Connie Chung's slutty younger sister. She is not a fat person, she just has fat parts and the biggest pubic mound in the whole world. However, Margaret does hold the secret to quick weight loss. Margaret grew up in a diverse community and when there are no other Asians around she feels uncomfortable. As young as Margaret is, she once had to pass a kidney stone. At the hospital she met the ever lovely Gwen but didn't get her business card.

If you don't already know, Margaret is a big fan of pornography. She especially loves 70s European porn and gay male porn. Let's face it, for women, straight porn is fucked up. One of the reasons she likes porn so much is because she loves dicks. Another reason is because she likes to keep up on all the latest plastic surgery. Although there may be things about Margaret that may lead you to believe she's gay, such as 1. she loves going to gaybars (it's not hard to spot her, she's always the one most dressed up and messed up), 2. likes everything about sex except the penetration part, she is not a lesbian, which is a shame because she is so good at softball. Also, Margaret does have, rare as it is, straight boyfriends. (Margaret loves straight men because they are so simple.) She also has a dog named Ralph (as in Fiennes). Margaret's mom loves her dog because she thinks he looks like Happy, a dog they used to have. Margaret has noticed that sometimes the dog gets jealous of the boyfriend.

As I've mentioned, Margaret's parents owned a bookstore. Her mother was the one in charge of the gay porn section. Like many comedians just starting out, Margaret's early notable routines were based on family members and pop culture. Specifically for Margaret, her routines involved bits on growing up with Asian immigrant parents and various others in her family, (such as her ex-surfer born-again brother, her sleepy bingo playing grandmother, her crazy uncle that lives in the South--c'mon, you have to be crazy to be Asian and live in the South!, her mother who laughs on the inside and thinks she's one big cherry and gay). Margaret once enjoyed drugs but quit, because, like a lot of us, she could no longer pretend her dealer was interesting. She has even given up meat, dairy, and drink in favor of such healthy trends such as yoga, but I don't think you want to be Margaret's yoga partner. One vice Margaret hasn't abandoned is her love of expensive beauty products.

Margaret performed at local clubs in San Francisco (even the one above her parent's bookstore, where she would do sets during her bookstore breaks) and at many many many universities. Eventually Margaret moved on to television and appeared on all sorts of comedy and late night talk shows, as well as thoroughly working the club circuit. She quickly gained comedic celebrity status and was rewarded with her own sit-com, All American Girl. It was short-lived though. It ran from September 1994 through March 1995. Margaret has stated that higher powers watered down the Asian-ness of the show. She has also said she would like to try television again and that this time she has a great comedic writing partner in Karen Kilgariff, a fine comedian in her own right, with whom she has written and starred in a comedic play entitled The People Tree. (Try to suss out Karen in the skits that aired as part of Margaret's Pulp Comics performance--they really know how to cut it up and dish it out.)

Margaret has been a Los Angeles resident since 1992. In late 1998, she appeared in the Friar's Club Roast for Drew Carey in New York, (the first time the Roast had been televised). During that time she also stopped by Comedy Central's The Daily Show and scored a 4 on the '5 Questions' segment. Comedy specials featuring Margaret that are still being re-broadcast include: Comics Come Home 3, Pulp Comics, Comedy Showcase, etc. In the fall of 1999, Margaret even hosted E's The Gossip Show and also appeared on E's Celebrity Profile (highly recommended if you want a good thorough audio/visual biographic piece on Margaret). In the fall of 2001, Margaret will be publishing a book. One day, Margaret will have her own fragrance to market. However, one thing Margaret will never endorse is douche.